maybe you can relate, maybe this is you.
have this song running on repeat in the background as you read, or one of your favorites.
-> angels prayer - ty burhoe
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how every moment in our lives serve and matter and count and add to the more. how no day is ever wasted or in vain. the peaceful and calm days w a cup of tea. the high paced busy yet grounded and balanced days. or opposite . how we put pressure on ourselves and beat ourselves up for not doing enough on the simple days. or how we’re stressed out and all over the place on the busy days.
or all days really. all days. that even the trying ones, where you just want to cry and die inside. as you experience every emotion under the sun as they haunt your soul your very being and they just dont leave you alone. so much so that even on some days, you cant find the will to get out of bed. and you just dont. and you dont even leave the bedroom for 7 days or more. maybe even these days count too , to assist in some way in the journey of our being .
and as you see the program on tv of a cancer survivor sharing her story. as a feel good story of the day. and granted that is intense. as she tells everyone that shes found happiness and peace. and grateful to be who she is and where she is now. and that couldnt have happened without this. that she loves who she is now.
that perhaps facing our worst demons , facing ourselves and what we fear about ourselves the most. like. maybe were unloveable. thats a big one. it actually might be universal. and releasing all these unconscious behaviors, limiting beliefs, and all the bottled fear . is also the same as what this woman did. that perhaps she knows the secret no body knows. perhaps she has learned the meaning of gratitude. true and true. true humbling gratitude. where you just thank god. thank god. thank god. you survived. i feel like. she might have done alot of serious crying. and she must. bc its a release of the soul. and this is alot to process.
and now. life will never be the same . and everyday is filled w grace. as she learns and relearns and unlearns every word she ever knew. bc it is all different now. for life takes on a whole new hue. and thru her trial and tribulation. to face this. bc it was a health challenge and hence mental/emotional/spiritual challenge as well, all at once. she had to face it. she couldnt ignore it like most people do when not faced at the brink of a cliff. and even then.
now gratitude is not just a word or a mental construct in her mind. like oh, it means to appreciate. no no . now , it is a pure visceral emotional experience that moves her whole body mind and soul, a vibration that is integrated into her way of being. that she has mastered. and it is her. its not even gratitude 2.0 its like gratitude max. as even that breaks open and goes even higher as time passes and progresses. and this will be her guiding light. as more grace comes into her life thru this experience. bc her soul has been opened if not awakened or both.
now. everyone she touches and everyone she meets is blessed. even in silence. as she meets herself , her fully integrated self, and meets her god as that person. as she meets her ancestors. her family line. her teachers and her spirit guides. in this life and all lives past perhaps. and many others she simply doesnt know about. as she feels their warm embrace. their presence. and their love. she is so filled and so moved and so touched. gratitude . the true meaning of grateful will never leave her soul. and perhaps now.
she knows the secret no body knows. pure gratitude. which then vibrates higher into deep appreciation and love. ultimately love. and then unconditional love. it is always the next step. the natural progression of the soul to go higher and refine. and then . to be so humbled. genuine compassion and self compassion. to learn to love and love herself. and then and only then love everyone else. all life itself. that is profound. a life forever changed.
and so. she said on tv that , it might have been the best thing that happened to her. and granted . w an extremely heightened view now , that it perhaps took this event in her life, to release her from all her fears . as she faced it all head on , one by one , as she thought she simply no longer had the time. time for much of anything at all anymore. and what has it all been for anyway. as so many thoughts and feelings rush into her soul to meet her and to greet her one by one. is this the end or is this the beginning. as she sat w them all. it is true. it is really true.
she found it all. she chose herself. she chose life. she chose to live and learn what it means to be alive. for however long she was to be alive. for however long she had. for however long she was to be given. and now. it heals her soul even more. for she has already done her own healing work. and the divine will agree. and she is free. but now. it fills and fulfills her soul. to goto cancer survivor groups. and discuss this, people of all ages younger older afflicted w cancer at all stages beginning to end. let alone, people she can relate to, simply relate to as a human being. and share. bc no one will understand her except those going thru the same thing.
not to the same depth anyway. or maybe even at all. bc who on earth actually confronts their fears , their deepest fears, the kind of fears you tuck away so deep no one knows , not even you. that our mind is so strong. that we can willingly look away when we simply do not want to know. when we simply do not want to face ourselves. face our greatest fear. and ultimately, face our deepest love. anyway. no, not that many im afraid. for only the truly brave. the truly strong. the truly humble do that. those of true heart and soul. and she shares the pain. the challenges. the blessing of just a not bad day. when things are so bad for so long. that you dont even know anymore and there is no hope in sight . and finally to have 1 okay day. it might not be great . but god. does it feel good. just to find relief.
the victory in small joys. the love. the learning. all of it. bc she knows it in her dna. she knows many things she doesnt even know yet. bc its in her blood. she cant even make any of it up. it was born within. struggled within. and ultimately released within. how her greatest teaching her greatest light the biggest thing she has to offer surrender give, is perhaps her greatest learning. the thing she struggled with the most. the very thing that held her down to the brink of death in every way . and had her for some time. and back again. to wholeness. the wholeness she always had but simply didnt know. until now.
she understands the higher lesson and the higher meaning. right from where she is. at her new vantage point with self. a person filled w/ love. a love that is perfect for her and who she is. nothing more and nothing less. as this too shall grow and evolve with the passing of good time. her understanding of love itself. hence her understanding of many things. for perhaps, it is the only thing that matters. the only thing that is real.
perhaps. we all have that power and the strength. the heart. to face ourselves as well. little by little inch by inch. to find ourselves anew like this woman. who is so happy . i dont know.
dont you want to be happy .
if i saw that. and saw the love shining in her eyes. if i didnt understand. i would think . god. thats horrible what she went thru but i want to know what the feeling feels like. that feeling of complete and total surrender and love and peace as it just ooozes from her eyes now. literally oozing. and well, after witnessing this , its in your soul now. so you just cant forget it. bc it is so rare. and simply becomes a memory in the recesses of your mind. until it is time.
and then. if i did understand i would think. god. thats horrible what she went thru but. how brave amazing and strong she is. god bless this woman. as she inspires and heightens and adds to your own understanding of the meaning of gratitude. of humility. of grace. of love and self love. of peace. as you too remember your own aliveness thru her. to remember who you are. and then god bless this woman again. what a beautiful soul to grace this world. how we really are all connected. hmm..
just like how all the medical professionals during covid was not just a job during this time, but a service for humanity as thousands of people were dying every day, even them. how the fire fighters gave their lives in 9/11 for people they will never know for simply to save a life. for the sake of the value of a life. the value of a precious soul. how noble humanity truly can be and is. if we simply remember who we are. who we truly are.
perhaps in our own way. as we face ourselves and do our own inner work. healing work. which is really, the bravest thing anyone can ever do in life. to sit in the silence of what is. facing all that may arise. facing the inner demons that are in the far reaches of our mind. and eventually facing the love that resides and presides over all things. we too. do a service not only for ourselves. but all as well. as we become better people inside, by dissolving our own fears and lightening the areas that desire to be soothed.
and hence as happy and free as this cancer survivor woman. w an illumination of the soul that all will remember who cross her path. in such a way that it remains. and it stays . it stays w them long after she is gone. until one day. they too finally begin to understand what she was speaking to all those many years ago. that this too, the act of freeing the soul. is a service for humanity. bc its not just about surviving. its about living. and really being alive. and simply being. true being. and in being, the connection to all life. as now we can truly begin to contribute what actually matters. perhaps at all. the only thing that does matter.
not small talk.
as most seem to indulge in.
but meaningful talk.
that only those of heart can do.
kindness.
joy.
peace.
love.
hope.
now not from our mind. but our heart and soul. from love.
and that is how we leave our mark. perhaps. within ourselves. with god . and hence the world . this world and the next. and beyond .
our love that travels the air. and makes our hearts so full and so sweet. the scent that roams the lands. and bring nourishment to the grand. the grander scheme of things.
then. is anything that bad. is anything really that horrible. with good time. w divine time. w the souls capacity to heal all things big and small. the answer is - no. all is well. all is simply as it should. how there is grace in all things.
bc in this life. the 1 life we were all given to live. you were finally you. you were finally free. you freed yourself of yourself to simply be yourself true.
if that is not the most beautifully freeing and humbling experience . i dont know what is.
just to be happy like a little girl a little boy a little munchkin.
perhaps that is what life is about.
and our journey towards this truth.
the truth of love.
-jane.
listen. read. feel.
if this touched you, share it with a friend.
this is a reading. video coming soon.
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